General
Take Care of Yourself: It’s What Your Challenging Child Needs Most
Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute, studied a sample of 600 parents and 1000 children (ages 8-18). The children were asked what they wished they could change about their parents’ work. The majority of the parents guessed that their children...
The Best Way to Deal with Power Struggles: Have a Plan!
The best way to deal with power struggles, tantrums, and meltdowns is to have an emergency plan. An emergency plan is a procedure or script that is implemented in the heat of the moment of a struggle. Having a plan helps prevent us from overreacting to the situation...
The Top 3 Causes of Power Struggles (bad parenting isn’t one of them!).
The three top causes of power struggles are: difficult temperament, delays in language development, and deficits in executive functioning. Before discussing the causes of power struggles in more depth, I want to talk first about easy kids, kids who don’t get into...
The Most Powerful Tool for Ending Power Struggles: a Parenting Journal
The Most Powerful Tool for Ending Power Struggles: a Parenting JournalThe most powerful tool for solving power struggles is a parenting journal. In your parenting journal you will record a narrative description of each power struggle, explosion, or other type of...
Step 1: Establish Safety
My first job, when I work with a new family, is to assess whether the home is a safe place for all family members. Before you follow the advice in any blog, in any book, or from any friend, your home needs to be safe for everyone in the family. If your home is not...
The Most Important New Year’s Resolution for Parents
Year end is the time when many of us make resolutions for the New Year. Here’s the one resolution that belongs at the top of every parent’s list. Take time to care for yourself. Being a parent is stressful. Supporting a family can be difficult and work hours seem to...
How do kids spell love? Suggestions for great ways for fathers and sons to spend time together.
I was driving past a church one evening and I noticed that the church sign read, “How do kids spell love? T‐I‐M‐E.” I was struck enough by this that I stopped to snap a photo of it. I thought “Yes, that is how kids spell love!” As I drove on, and reflected more about...
Dealing with a Defiant Child: Lessons Learned from Steve Jobs
Since my last post, Steve Jobs: Innovator, Entrepreneur, and Challenging Boy, we have all heard the sad news of Steve Jobs’s passing. Guy Kawasaki, who worked with Jobs at Apple, posted on his blog in memory of Steve: “What I Learned from Steve Jobs.” Here’s a...
Steve Jobs: Innovator, Entrepeneur, and Challenging Boy
On August 24, 2011 Steve Jobs submitted his letter of resignation to Apple’s board of directors. When people think Steve Jobs, they think incredibly influential innovator and entrepreneur. As a child, however, Jobs describes himself as having been a “little tyrant.”...
How to Talk to Children about Divorce
How to Talk to Children about Divorce Recently, I was interviewed for an article about helping children cope with divorce. The interviewer specifically wanted to know my recommendations for how parents’ should tell children about their plans for divorce. Below is a...