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4 Tips for Ending Homework Battles
From Homework Battles to Self-Management: 4 Tips for Parents School doors are open again and, for many families, it means the resumption of homework battles. You might have noticed that schools are giving more homework than ever before. This increased workload places...
Take Care of Yourself: It’s What Your Challenging Child Needs Most
Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute, studied a sample of 600 parents and 1000 children (ages 8-18). The children were asked what they wished they could change about their parents’ work. The majority of the parents guessed that their children...
Does 1-2-3 Magic Work? A Review of 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan
Does 1-2-3 Magic Work? A Review of 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan 1-2-3 Magic, by Thomas Phelan, describes an approach to child discipline that has the advantage of being very simple to learn and follow. When a child misbehaves he or she gets two warnings before being...
Understanding the Factors that Maintain a Cycle of Power Struggles
Once language processing issues, temperamental issues, and executive skills issues have started a pattern of power struggles between a challenging child and his or her parents (see my previous post on what causes power struggles), other factors can arise which...
The Best Way to Deal with Power Struggles: Have a Plan!
The best way to deal with power struggles, tantrums, and meltdowns is to have an emergency plan. An emergency plan is a procedure or script that is implemented in the heat of the moment of a struggle. Having a plan helps prevent us from overreacting to the situation...
The Top 3 Causes of Power Struggles (bad parenting isn’t one of them!).
The three top causes of power struggles are: difficult temperament, delays in language development, and deficits in executive functioning. Before discussing the causes of power struggles in more depth, I want to talk first about easy kids, kids who don’t get...
The Most Powerful Tool for Ending Power Struggles: a Parenting Journal
The Most Powerful Tool for Ending Power Struggles: a Parenting JournalThe most powerful tool for solving power struggles is a parenting journal. In your parenting journal you will record a narrative description of each power struggle, explosion, or other type of...
Step 1: Establish Safety
My first job, when I work with a new family, is to assess whether the home is a safe place for all family members. Before you follow the advice in any blog, in any book, or from any friend your, home needs to be safe for everyone in the family. If your home is not...
The Most Important New Year’s Resolution for Parents
It’s year end, the time when many of us make resolutions for the New Year. Here’s the one resolution that belongs at the top of every parent’s list. Take time to care for yourself. Being a parent in 2012 was stressful. In a down economy supporting a family can be...
How do kids spell love? Suggestions for great ways for fathers and sons to spend time together.
I was driving past a church one evening and I noticed that the church sign read, “How do kids spell love? T‐I‐M‐E.” I was struck enough by this that I stopped to snap a photo of it. I thought “Yes, that is how kids spell love!” As I drove on, and reflected more about...
Dealing with a Defiant Child: Lessons Learned from Steve Jobs
Since my last post, Steve Jobs: Innovator, Entrepreneur, and Challenging Boy, we have all heard the sad news of Steve Jobs’s passing. Guy Kawasaki, who worked with Jobs at Apple, posted on his blog in memory of Steve: “What I Learned from Steve Jobs.” Here’s a post on...
Steve Jobs: Innovator, Entrepeneur, and Challenging Boy
On August 24, 2011 Steve Jobs submitted his letter of resignation to Apple’s board of directors. When people think Steve Jobs, they think incredibly influential innovator and entrepreneur. As a child, however, Jobs describes himself as having been a “little tyrant.”...